MISSING: Search party dispatched to find missing England Rugby team

MISSING: Search party dispatched to find missing England Rugby team

Search parties have been dispatched in a bid to find the missing England Rugby team, who haven’t been seen since in five weeks.

Police are eager to speak to a Mr Eddie Jones, who’s described as an angry, 5 foot 4 inch “baldy c***” with an Australian accent.

The ‘megalomaniacal’ Australian is believed to have misled the team into thinking they were worldclass and capable of beating the All Blacks.

A police spokesperson from Scotland Yard said that it believed that the team “are in a sh*t place” but it is not believed to be Wales.