Kevin Sinfield set for shock career change to save England from RWC humiliation
By Rugby Onslaught

Kevin Sinfield set for shock career change to save England from RWC humiliation

It is safe to say that the best performer to come out of the England camp so far this month is Owen Farrell’s lawyer. He has probably been the busiest as well.

But given the England team’s current refusal to tackle legally, the RFU is in serious danger of bankruptcy over the upcoming World Cup due to legal fees. Therefore, Rugby Onslaught believe head coach Steve Borthwick has concocted a radical plan.

Following another red card to one of his players, this time Billy Vunipola against Ireland, Borthwick had to take drastic action. That is why he has decided to move their legal representation in-house.

In order to save the RFU, and English rugby as a whole, England have been forced to train one of their current coaches to become a lawyer before the World Cup, and there is only one person who fits the bill.

It may be because he has comfortably handled any challenge presented before him in his career, it may be because there is no point in England having a defence coach anymore because none of the players can tackle, but Borthwick has decided Kevin Sinfield is the man to step up and become a lawyer to save England.

Reports have emerged that Sinfield has described this England team as “uncoachable,” “beyond hopeless” and “a complete lost cause,” and it is hard to disagree with his assessment. While England are throwing money at lawyers to get red cards rescinded, they are also haemorrhaging money paying for a defence coach. There is no point having a defensive structure (which already looked shaky) if every England player is going to adopt the tackle technique labelled ‘decapitation’, and therefore Sinfield’s services could be used more wisely.

Some might say, ‘how can you achieve half a decade’s worth of work in the space of two weeks?’ Well this is Kevin Sinfield we are talking about here, this is not just anyone. If there is one person who can, he can.

Such is the vast number of hearings that England players are expected to attend during the World Cup that conservative estimates already suggest that Sinfield will not only keep the RFU afloat with the money they will save by making him a lawyer, but they will have enough left over to build an extra tier at Twickenham as well as their own international airport.

Given their dismal performances so far this August, England’s chances of achieving anything at the World Cup dropped from 1% to 0% against Ireland, but a good World Cup for them is not having to pull out midway through the pool stages after running out of money. That looks as though it can be achieved now.

There is one alternative for England- the players can learn how to tackle correctly. But it is probably easier for Sinfield to become a lawyer in two weeks.