Springboks' scrum-half mutiny takes another violent turn
By Rugby Onslaught

Springboks’ scrum-half mutiny takes another violent turn

Last week Rugby Onslaught brought you the groundbreaking news of the scrum-half mutiny that has taken place in the Springboks’ camp, where four scrum-halves had taken over their training  in a coup and subjected the team of endless box kicks.

Any hopes of Jacques Nienaber and his squad trying to wrestle back any control was quickly quashed this week. In fact, Rugby Onslaught has gained footage of the resistance uprising that the players attempted and how it ended miserably.

Footage shows the leaders of the coup, Cobus Reinach and Faf de Klerk, buoyed by the sight of Italy picking four scrum-halves in their squad, started choking teammates Trevor Nyakane and Franco Mostert, presumably until they accepted to grow long blond hair.

There was a glimmer of hope when Nyakane, Bongi Mbonambi and RG Snyman were able to fight back against Reinach, but our reporters on the ground have revealed that fellow scrum-halves Grant Williams and Jaden Hendrikse emerged to save their leader and started biting the ankles of the trio off camera until they stopped. That is a common defence mechanism for the average No9.

It looks like it is box kicks for the foreseeable future.

The worry now is that Italy’s four scrum-halves will stage a similar insurrection in the near future. Every day it becomes clearer why Warren Gatland decided to only pick two No9s in his Wales squad.

Take a look at the video:

Nienaber would have hoped that the rebellion would be under control by this week. The Boks survived last week as they were only playing Wales’ B team, but eight hours of box kicks a day is not going to help them beat the All Blacks this Friday- even if they will attempt two hours of box kicks in the match.

This is the team the scrum-half coup have allowed Nienaber to name:

Springbok XV
15 – Damian Willemse (DHL Stormers) – 32 caps, 41 pts (3t, 4c, 4p, 2d)
14 – Kurt-Lee Arendse (Vodacom Bulls) – 9 caps, 50 pts (10t)
13 – Canan Moodie (Vodacom Bulls) – 7 caps, 20 pts (4t)
12 – Andre Esterhuizen (Harlequins) – 13 caps, 0 pts
11 – Makazole Mapimpi (Hollywoodbets Sharks) – 38 caps, 115 pts (23t)
10 – Manie Libbok (DHL Stormers) – 8 caps, 55 pts (1t, 16c, 6p)
9 – Faf de Klerk (Canon Eagles) – 48 caps, 44 pts (5t, 2c, 5p)
8 – Duane Vermeulen (SA Rugby) – 69 caps, 15 pts (3t)
7 – Pieter-Steph du Toit (Toyota Verblitz) – 70 caps, 35 pts (7t)
6 – Siya Kolisi (captain, Hollywoodbets Sharks) – 76 caps, 40 pts (8t)
5 – Franco Mostert (Honda Heat) – 66 caps, 15 pts (3t)
4 – Eben Etzebeth (Hollywoodbets Sharks) – 112 caps, 25 pts (5t)
3 – Frans Malherbe (DHL Stormers) – 62 caps, 5 pts (1t)
2 – Malcolm Marx (Kubota Spears) – 62 caps, 80 pts (16t)
1 – Steven Kitshoff (Ulster) – 75 caps, 10 pts (2t)

16 – Bongi Mbonambi (Hollywoodbets Sharks) – 61 caps, 60 pts (12t)
17 – Ox Nche (Hollywoodbets Sharks) – 20 caps, 0 pts
18 – Trevor Nyakane (Racing 92) – 61 caps, 0 pts
19 – Jean Kleyn (Munster) – 3 caps, 0 pts (Ireland 5 caps)
20 – RG Snyman (Munster) – 27 caps, 5 pts (1t)
21 – Marco van Staden (Vodacom Bulls) – 13 caps, 0 pts
22 – Cobus Reinach (Montpellier) – 26 caps, 27 pts (9t)
23 – Willie le Roux (Vodacom Bulls) – 87 caps, 65 pts (13t)